urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris Surgeon for Hire Surgeon for Hire 2009-12-26T03:51:35Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:23602 2009-12-26T02:23:50Z 2009-12-26T03:51:35Z The patient that Nicolas Kokoris was currently performing surgery on was his fifth in 18 hours, and from the conversations that were drifting into the room as other doctors finished the possibility existed that he might not be his last. Passing off the scalpel he held in his hand, the Greek stepped back from the table to allow himself room to first roll his shoulders, and then stretch in an attempt to loosen up his tightening muscles. <br /><br />"Are you feeling all right Dr. Nic?" The Congolese nurse voiced her concern as she rinsed the tool off, then laid it on the tray for him to use again. While only in her mid 30's, Abebe had been working in the hospital for over ten years, and most if not all of the doctors and other nurses accepted her mothering of them as a natural extension of who she was.<br /><br />"I'm fine Mama Abebe, I just needed a little breather." Nic's use of the familiar address brought a smile to the woman's face.<br /><br />"You work too long, you stop after this one, yes?" The nurse checked the cleaned instruments a final time as the surgeon moved back to the table.<br /><br />"I can't promise that, there are more patients, anything could happen." Nic took a moment to study his re-familiarize himself with what he'd already done before saying anything more, "Scalpel, and have some gauze ready, I'm going to try and go for the stray metal now, and let's hope we don't get any fresh bleeds." As his concentration narrowed to the work at hand, Abebe let the subject drop, though both knew the discussion was not finished. It was in fact a reoccurring one between them, and the nurse knew she would need to call on her back-up if she were to win. When she was sure that Kokoris was fully absorbed with his work, and a need for more gauze grew apparent, Abebe saw her opportunity to slip out for a few minutes.<br /><br />"Doctor, I need to go for more supplies, I will be only a few minutes." While her words brought nothing more then a slight nod of acknowledgment, it was enough for her, and as she slipped out of the room, she set her sights on locating Dr. Falconiri<br /><br />Nicolas Kokoris and Joanna Falconiri had been at the Médecins Sans Frontieres-run hospital in Rutshuru town in the North Kivu area of the Congo for going on two months. Where unlike those in some hospitals and clinics the threat of the fighting between Congolese troops and Rwandan rebels wasn't a constant threat, the two still were kept busy enough, and surgeries of upwards to fifteen a day were not unusual. Neither were novices to the work they were doing, but, in the last two months, their working situation had changed and it was that arrangement which Abebe was hoping to use to her advantage now.<br /><br />It took the resourceful nurse only moments to locate the Italian surgeon in one of the wards, and once she had briefed her on both her concerns and what she hoped the woman would assist her with, she gathered the need supplies and returned to the surgery. From first glance things didn't look good, bloodied gauze and other debris littered the floor under the operating staff's feet, and while mask's covered the majority of their faces, from what Abebe could see from their eyes, they were not hopeful for their patient's outcome. As Kokoris muttered something in Greek half under his breath, then shook his head, the nurse quickly washed and gloved her hands and re-entered the field.<br /><br />"I can't get a handle on these bleeders, every time I get one stopped a fresh one opens up." Nic cussed again as he lost his hold on the vein he was trying to suture. <br /><br />"Maybe I'll have better luck." Under her mask, Joanna Falconiri smiled as she heard his curse.<br /><br />"That's not going to help, by the way, sleep however will. Time for you to step out and get some."<br /><br />"I'm in the middle of surgery if you can't tell." Kokoris' eyes moved between the two women sensing the conspiracy at hand before he returned them to his patient.<br /><br />"Nic," Joanna moved up behind him before lowering her voice. "No one doubts your abilities or your loyalty to your patient, but you know, and I know that after so long on your feet your work can suffer. Are you ready to accept the consequences if you lose this boy because you were too tired to see everything you should have?" Maybe it was the tone of her voice, maybe it was common sense finally kicking in, whatever the reason, the Greek surgeon reluctantly nodded and as he did he stepped aside to allow Joanna to take over the work he had begun. As he moved out of the field completely he could help but catch the look that Abebe passed his way and after sliding his mask off his face he passed her a weary smile.<br /><br />"You win, sleep, I know." Unfortunately, as he exited the room, he knew tired as he was, he wasn't quite ready for it. In fact, he had other plans, and with Joanna occupied, now was the perfect time to set those in motion.<br /><br />In the end, Nicolas Kokoris had slept, in fact he was still sleeping when an exhausted Joanna Falconiri pushed the flap aside to enter the tent that the two surgeon's shared.<br /><br />"Oh, Nic, what have you done?" The woman's hand went to her mouth as she stared in disbelief at the transformation that the small canvas tent had undergone in her absence. In the corner stood an IV stand, wired with hangers meant to act as branches, from which were suspended an assortment of medical instruments, and a garland of gauze. To complete the illusion of his makeshift Christmas tree, a paper star was taped to it's top, and finally, underneath sat two packages wrapped in newspaper with still more gauze used for bows. Leaving the doorway she approached the occupied cot and knelt beside it.<br /><br />"Time to wake up, Il mio campione." While she knew that Nic needed his sleep, she found herself unable to keep from acknowledging his efforts, so, while trailing her fingers across his brow, she repeated the words quietly until he began to stir. As his eyes finally opened she found herself smiling.<br /><br />"Hey, been busy have you?"<br /><br />"Sleepin'." The Greek's words were slightly slurred as he lingered in half-sleep. <br /><br />"I meant that thing in the corner, I'm pretty sure it wasn't there when I left." Joanna pointed to the IV stand.<br /><br />"Your Christmas Tree?" As he rubbed the sleep from his eyes with one hand, he propped himself up on his other arm.<br /><br />"That is not a Christmas Tree." <br /><br />"Sure it is, well, maybe you have to use your imagination a little but, it's hard to find fir trees in the Congo. Look again." As he spoke, Nic reached across the bed and grabbed something off of it before returning to his previous position and holding his arm over her head.<br /><br />"Does this help?" As he opened his hand he revealed a small branch with what looked like broken, red tinted q-tips tied to it. "Now you have to kiss me."<br /><br />"Now I know you've been working too hard. That is not Mistletoe. Eew, do I even want to know how you made those red." While she was able to snatch the branch from his hold, she didn't resist his kiss, and after tossing it aside she leaned in to give him another.<br /><br />"Thank you." <br /><br />"For what?" Nic smiled and coaxed her to lie beside him before folding his arms around her.<br /><br />"For doing this, despite the creepiness of some parts." She shot another glance to the discarded branch.<br /><br />"You're welcome, I think. So, are you too tired to share a little Christmas cheer?" A stolen kiss left no doubt that alcohol would not be necessary to proceed.<br /><br />"Christmas cheer hmm?" Joanna returned his kiss before settling comfortably against him. "I think that sounds like a wonderful idea."<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom: Presidio Med<br />Words: 1159<br /><br />A special thanks to Christina for the loan of her muse <span class='ljuser ljuser-name_medico_bella' lj:user='medico_bella' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://medico-bella.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://medico-bella.livejournal.com/'><b>medico_bella</b></a></span> in this Christmas Story I gift to her. I hope you like it. <br /><br />Il mio campione translates to: My champion urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:23425 2009-04-25T22:41:11Z 2009-04-25T23:12:36Z Post picks up after this post and RP with <span class='ljuser ljuser-name_medico_bella' lj:user='medico_bella' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://medico-bella.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://medico-bella.livejournal.com/'><b>medico_bella</b></a></span> that began <a href="http://nicolaskokoris.livejournal.com/16005.html/">here.</a><br /><br />The sun was just beginning to drop as Nicolas Kokoris made his way onto the patio atop the d'Alessio's villa. The day had been a busy one, full of Joanna and Roberto's family, and well-wishers, and while most had tried to welcome him into their conversations he could no longer deny the strain that inclusion was having on their conversations. He'd needed time to himself, not just to clear his head, but, to rest. If it weren't for the constant reminders from the pain of his back, he might very well forget that only 24 hours earlier they had been in a war-zone. If not for that and Roberto's death that was. Now, sitting on the patio wall, he'd found that.<br /><br />"I don't know how I'll keep my sanity through all of this." At the sound of Joanna Falconiri's voice, Nic stood and turned toward her.<br /><br />"It's not that bad, is it?" The Greek couldn't help smiling at her complaint, having been very close to wondering the same thing himself.<br /><br />"That's what you think, they're not your family." As she reached where he stood, she accepted his kiss before motioning his to sit again.<br /><br />"You should be inside resting, your back." Her brow furrowed slightly in concern as she swept her eyes over him for signs that he was in more pain than he was showing her.<br /><br />"My back, is fine." He did however comply with her request before looking back out over the City.<br /><br />"I could get you something for the pain." Laying her hand on his arm, she attempted to draw his full attention back to her.<br /><br />"Joanna, I'm okay, it doesn't hurt that bad, when it starts to get bad, I'll tell you. You've got enough to worry about without adding me to things," Leaning over to her he gave her a light kiss and while it lightened the mood for the two of them, for Michael, who watched from a window, it only further fueled an anger that had begun at the airport.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom: Presidio Med<br />Words: 337<br />A special thanks to Christina for the loan of her muse <span class='ljuser ljuser-name_medico_bella' lj:user='medico_bella' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://medico-bella.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://medico-bella.livejournal.com/'><b>medico_bella</b></a></span> in this post. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:23117 2009-03-20T23:47:55Z 2009-03-20T23:58:54Z <img src="http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a310/AzizalSaqr/greendoor.jpg"><br /><br />For the past few weeks, the activity in the camp had been chaotic at best. Seemingly endless shellings and car bombings had driven a steady stream of patients through the surgical tents and a night where any doctor was able to sleep more then three uninterrupted hours had become a luxury. <br /><br />When the latest round of surgeries ended near dawn, it wasn't at all surprising that most chose to head straight for their beds rather then the mess tent. For Nic, despite his need for sleep, coffee was his priority. A necessity in fact if he planned to carry through on an idea that had been placed in his head by a family member of one of his most recent patients. <br /><br />After brewing his own pot of coffee, the surgeon filled a thermos and tucked it under his arm, then, for good measure, he grabbed several fresh pastries from a tray on the corner of the table before heading to the tent he was sharing with Joanna Falconiri. As he drew back the flap, he wasn't surprised to find the woman already burrowed deep under the blankets on her cot. <br /><br />"Joanna." Adopting a sing-song lilt he called her name, then, after setting the pastries beside her, he opened the thermos while fanning the aroma of the small meal toward her. . "Joanna..."<br /><br />"Go away, I'm sleeping." <br /><br />"Come on, you can sleep later, I have something to show you." Reaching for a cup that sat near the other doctor's cot, Nic filled it before pulling the blanket from her head so he could hand it and one of the pastries to her. <br /><br />"Dr. Kokoris, do you know how many days it's been since we had a chance to get a reasonable amount of sleep?" Even as she voiced the complaint, Joanna couldn't resist the offered breakfast. "It smells wonderful though."<br /><br />"Um hmm, so you need to drink up while it's hot, and then get dressed because we have somewhere we have to be." As she took the first sip of her coffee he rose to find a cup for his own.<br /><br />"You're not serious? The only place I have to be today is here, and if you had any common sense you'd be sleeping as well." Pulling the still warm pastry apart, she placed a bite in her mouth. <br /><br />"Trust me, you won't regret this, and..." After taking a sip of his own coffee, Nic sat his cup down so he could retrieve a duffel from under his cot.<br /><br />"I've packed some things and arranged for us to get two days away from the camp." Setting the bag on the top of his own cot, he returned to his cup.<br /><br />"Nic, you're crazy, as busy as it's been? They can't afford to have both of us gone." The woman's disbelief at his even making the suggestion resounded clearly in her words.<br /><br />"No, I'm not, just think about it. We're no good to them if we're exhausted, and a new group of volunteers is due in this morning, it's the perfect time. Now, put some clothes on, we have to meet someone in an hour." Seeing that Nic was not going to change his mind, Joanna pulled another bite of pastry off and tossed it at him.<br /><br />"Oh, fine, you win, but, this had better be worth my losing sleep over because otherwise you are so going to pay." <br /><br />Despite her continued efforts to pry the details of where they were going from the Greek, the man remained secretive as they wound their way through the streets outside the camp. As they entered a neighborhood marred by the rubble of a recent bombing she found her doubts about his plans growing stronger. <br /><br />"Uh, Nic? She looked from the first of the buildings to him and back again.<br /><br />"It'll be fine, trust me, it's been weeks since they've had any activity here." As he offered the reassurance he approached a gated house and slipped the latch so he could swing the door open.<br /><br />"This is it." Stepping aside, Nic waved Joanna through before following only to then skirt around her again so he could unlock the front door.<br /><br />"Go down the steps, there should be a green door to your left, which was left open for us." A Cheshire-like grin spread across the Greek's face as he watched the woman for her reaction.<br /><br />"Um, okay. Should I be worried about this?" Joanna walked up to him with the question. When the only response he gave in return was a shake of the head and a further deepening of his smile she gave up on him.<br /><br />"You're awful, you do know that, right?" Rising up on her toes, she kissed him before he could react, then disappeared down the stairs. <br /><br />"What, now you're not coming?" Her voice carried back up the stairs to him as she reached the bottom.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom: Presidio Med<br />Words: 806<br /><br />Thank you to Christina for the loan of her muse <span class='ljuser ljuser-name_medico_bella' lj:user='medico_bella' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://medico-bella.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://medico-bella.livejournal.com/'><b>medico_bella</b></a></span> for this prompt,<br /><br />To be continued... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:22908 2009-03-01T23:26:42Z 2009-03-02T01:36:43Z "For the first time in my life, I feel old." Nicolas Kokoris released a deep sigh as he stood in the tent's doorway, staring at the sprawling camp before him.<br /><br />"Why would you say that?" Joanna Falconiri glanced up from the chart she was making notes in at her companion's comment. "That's not like you, Nic."<br /><br />"Nothing changes, or if anything, it only gets worse, what's the point?" Without realizing it, one hand went to his low-back to knead a sudden ache.<br /><br />"Nic, it does change, think of all those we help, those who are alive because we're here, it has to count for something." It was her turn to sigh, and after marking her place with her pen, she closed the folder and rose to join him in the doorway.<br /><br />"Does it? I used to think so, now, I don't know." When she moved in close behind him, then slid her arms around his waist, he remained immobile except for dropping his own hand, for some reason not quite ready to accept the comfort of her words or touch.<br /><br />"Days like today, I feel worthless, and I just can't get past it, it wasn't like this when we were here all those years ago. Have I changed all that much?" An explosion in the distance sent a tremble through him, and again his hand moved to his side. "I never felt afraid before, afraid that everything we were working for would end in failure, and I don't think I can handle feeling like this." As his words continued they grew much quieter, becoming almost lost to the sounds of the chaos outside the tent.<br /><br />"Joanna. I don't know what to do."<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom:Presidio Med<br />Words: 234<br /><br />Thank you to Christina for the loan of her muse <span class='ljuser ljuser-name_medico_bella' lj:user='medico_bella' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://medico-bella.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://medico-bella.livejournal.com/'><b>medico_bella</b></a></span> for this prompt, if you'd like to read the original prompt and the RP that are referred to, you'll find those here: <a href="http://nicolaskokoris.livejournal.com/16005.html">Look Out!</a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:22778 2008-06-09T07:43:31Z 2009-03-01T03:41:57Z "You wanna do what?" The Chief of Surgery sitting across from Nicolas Kokoris stared at the man in disbelief before dropping his eyes to the letter that had found it's way into his in-box that very morning.<br /><br />"I think my letter of resignation was quite clear." Nic released a soft sigh, the argument was one he had already been through no less than three times since he had made the decision to close his practice in Greece and move to San Francisco, and likely it would not be the last of them before he boarded his plane.<br /><br />"Nic, we've known each other too long for you to leave me with just that, there's more to this then that, you know it and I know it." He released the sheet of paper and let it flutter to his desk as he focused his full attention on the surgeon.<br /><br />"If it's just a matter of needing more time for your work with Medecins Sans Frontieres, we could hire an additional surgeon or two to allow you that flexibility." Before he had fully finished, Nic was already stopping him.<br /><br />"Ignatius, it's not that, in fact, it doesn't have anything to do with my practice, or work at all." Even as he skirted around the real reason for his decision for leaving he wondered why he was being so secretive about it.<br /><br />"Then what is it, Nic? Tell me, because what you've given me here is about as far from the truth as a child in school telling their teacher that their dog ate their homework." As much as he hated watching the other man's reaction to his questions, Dr. Basilius was determined not to allow him to walk away without revealing the truth.<br /><br />"All right, fine, it's Rae, we've talked about her. I want more then two weeks twice a year with her, so, I've accepted a position with a hospital in San Francisco so I can see more often." There, it was out, so why then wasn't he feeling a sense of relief? He found himself watching the other man's face for his reaction.<br /><br />"And what if nothing comes of it, you'll have thrown your career away for nothing." The older surgeon's words were heavy with annoyance.<br /><br />"Maybe I think it's worth the risk, that she's worth the risk, I do know I'm tired of being alone, and I'm ready to start thinking about settling down." There, he'd said it. Nic almost smiled as the thought surfaced, though, reading the other man's expression suppressed it almost immediately.<br /><br />"What does she say about your decision?" Ignatius' question was likely the one Nic feared most.<br /><br />"I have no idea, but, I guess I'll find out when I get there." Any further discussion would have to wait, and as his pager vibrated at his hip, Nic reached for it.<br /><br />"I need to go, I'm being paged for an emergency." He motioned to the door as he spoke.<br /><br />"Go, call me when you finish, so we can work out the details." Dr. Basilius reached for the top folder on the corner of his desk.<br /><br />"I will." As he left the room, for the first time since he'd made the decision to leave, Nic felt hopeful, maybe this was the start of things going his way. Or at least he could hope for that.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom: Presidio Med<br />Words: 559 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:22448 2008-06-09T04:11:08Z 2008-06-09T04:12:26Z <b>the mun and muse are honored.</b><br /><br /><img src="http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a310/AzizalSaqr/Tammys-1.jpg"> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:22142 2008-01-27T20:04:59Z 2008-01-27T20:04:59Z It was everywhere, the blood, I should have been prepared for it, but I wasn't. Sure, I'd seen the reports on the news, I'd read the briefing statements that had been sent to me before I'd made the decision to accept this assignment for Medecins Sans Frontieres, but, none of that prepares you for your first actual encounter with all of the violence, all of the blood.<br /><br />I'm not really sure what prompted me to accept a placement in Palestine, probably the same that had drawn me to Bosnia, and would eventually draw me to Afghanistan, but once there the reality of it was unlike anything I had read or seen anywhere. As a surgeon I'm used to seeing blood, but not like this, and certainly not when it's evidence of a crime that takes so many lives before their time.<br /><br />I don't think anything could have prepared me for my first suicide bombing. To know that so many people were caught unaware, their lives interrupted as they moved through life in the only way they could, under circumstances they had no control over. To see the randomness of the act, the victims whose lives were cut short, or worse who would live out the balance of their days forever changed.<br /><br />I've no time to think of any of that though. For me, all I see is the blood and the devastation beneath it as I struggle to find ways to repair the damage that has been done, and if I'm lucky, I'll find a way to save them, a way to give them more time on this earth, and maybe with it, a reason to hope that one day all the violence will end so no one else is forced to face what they have to face.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom: Presidio Med<br />Words: 298 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:21783 2007-09-28T01:20:37Z 2009-03-01T01:38:15Z A year after his death and Nicolas Kokoris still couldn't find the words he wanted to say as he started the letter to Joanna Falconiri on the anniversary of her husband Roberto's death. Granted he'd been with her when she'd received the news, he'd made the trip back to Italy as she took his body home for burial, he'd even stood at her side as they'd laid him to rest. None of that made what he wanted to say come any easier, and in the end he would likely settle for what was expected, the words that would be easiest for the family to hear. <br /><br /><i>Joanna...</i> Well, that was the easy part of things...he glanced at the sheet of paper in front of him and debated just what he was ready to put on it.<br /><br /><i> I'm sorry that it's been so long since I've written, I could probably excuse it by saying I've been busy, but, we both know that's just an excuse when the truth is, I just wasn't sure what to say. It's hard to believe an entire year has passed, though I know for you it likely seems that time has stood still. I'm in the process of getting ready for my bi-annual tour, and I guess I wondered if I'd see you. Maybe it's too soon for you to even think of going back, I can imagine that the wounds are still fresh, and returning could only make that worse. I just want you to reconsider, maybe going will in fact allow you to heal, if you give yourself a chance to see once again what you and Roberto had devoted your life to, what he gave his for. Just think about it. Remember, I'm here if you need me, take care.<br /><br />Nic</i><br /><br />Just words, but, hopefully ones that would help. He folded the paper and slid it in the envelope. Time to get back to work.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom: Presidio Med<br />Words: 342 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:21706 2007-09-16T04:03:34Z 2009-03-01T01:39:11Z (Thanks to <span class='ljuser ljuser-name_medico_bella' lj:user='medico_bella' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://medico-bella.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://medico-bella.livejournal.com/'><b>medico_bella</b></a></span> for allowing me to borrow her muse for this prompt)<br /><br />Dr. Nicolas Kokoris stood naked in the tent's doorway, the flap pushed aside in hopes that it might allow some hint of a breeze into the stifling interior.<br /><br />"What are you doing" Joanna Falconiri, rose up on one elbow, letting the thin sheet fall across her as she did.<br /><br />"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" The Greek turned back to the woman, letting the tent-flap fall closed again.<br /><br />"No, but, morning surgeries are going to come awful early if you don't get some sleep." Lifting the sheet, she patted the empty space beside her. "Come back to bed," <br /><br />"It's too hot to sleep." The complaint wasn't enough to prevent his compliance however, and as he reached the cot he took a seat beside her.<br /><br />"At least lay down then." Joanna ran her hand over his bare shoulder, then coaxed him into further compliance with a lingering kiss. "You need to get some rest."<br /><br />"That isn't going to help." He turned into her kiss before she could pull away, his lips catching hers a moment before his fingers threaded into her hair.<br /><br />"Nic, if you could have any wish, what would you want?" Joanna returned his kiss then drew back so she could see his face.<br /><br />"Truth?" A smile slid across Nic's face as he readied his answer.<br /><br />"Yes, the truth." An answering smile greeted him on her face.<br /><br />"I'd wish for air conditioning...it's hotter then hell in here." The Greek didn't stand a chance at avoiding the pillow that was the Italian's response to his answer.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom: ER<br />Words: 259 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:21461 2007-09-06T17:39:26Z 2009-03-01T03:44:38Z "The true magic of this broken world lay in the ability of the things it contained to vanish, to become so thoroughly lost, that they might never have existed in the first place." The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, by Michael Chabon.<br /><br />"What do you mean they're gone?" Dr. Nicolas Kokoris looked up from the paperwork that covered the surface of the desk he sat at.<br /><br />"Just what I said, they're gone. I went over to the tent that we thought the family was staying to see how they were doing and they weren't there, when I asked around no one seemed to know anything about them." The British nurse took a seat on the chair closest to her as she offered the news.<br /><br />"That doesn't make any sense." The Greek dropped his pen on the open chart as he tried to make sense of the news he was hearing.<br /><br />"Okay, let me get this straight, this family that I could barely get to leave the operating room long enough for me to work on their child, now suddenly disappears in the middle of the night without a word to anybody?" Struck by a sudden thought the surgeon abruptly stood.<br /><br />"Has anyone checked on the boy this morning?" The words had barely left his lips before he had started for the door, his concern for his patient suddenly outweighing everything else.<br /><br />"I didn't even think to check on him." At his reaction the nurse hastily rose and followed him.<br /><br />Even with their knowing the boy's family had fled, neither were prepared for the sight of the empty bed in the surgical ward. The IV tubing still hanging, from the pole, only to be left dripping after it had been pulled from the child's arm. <br /><br />"How is it that no one saw them take him?" Nic's question left the nurse on duty shaking her head, before she began to strip the bed. <br /><br />"I don't know, we were busy, there are parents and family in and out all the time." She offered the excuse weakly, knowing as she did that it was only a matter of time before the bed would be would be filled again. When it came down to it, the truth here was undeniable, the child who had been there would be no more then a memory in a matter of days, or maybe a week, no matter how he had left it, and soon not even that. That was the way things were here, and the way they would always be. Nothing any of them did would change that, no matter how much they worried, or wanted to think they could save the world, and that was the reality of it.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom: Presidio Med<br />Words: 313 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:21212 2007-08-12T03:36:24Z 2009-03-01T01:40:23Z "Dr. Kokoris, mass casualties coming in, five minutes out, another market bombing." The nurse had barely opened the flap of the tent before making the announcement and dropped it just as quickly before making her way to the next tent.<br /><br />Nicolas Kokoris had given up a lucrative private practice almost twenty years earlier to devote his surgical skills full-time to Medecins Sans Frontieres. It wasn't the kind of work that everyone was suited to, and it held more than it's share of risks not just to the patients, but to those treating them as well.<br /><br />When Joanna Falconiri had made the proposition to him, it had come at a time when he was ready for a change. He'd already been offering his services to Medicins Sans Frontieres, doing two, two week tours a year. It had been through Doctors Without Borders that he had met Rae, and because of her that he had given of his practice in Greece and moved to the United States. How ironic that it would also be through them that he would find the reason to leave when things with Rae did not work out.<br /><br />Neither he nor Joanna could have known at the time she made the offer that they would still be working with the program so many years later. In truth they had both hoped the need would no longer be there, but such was not the case and if anything things seemed at times to only worsen, as leaders failed to learn from the past and those they governed suffered for it.<br /><br />"Dr. Kokoris...the ambulances are rolling in now." The nurse lifted the flap again as she made he way back the way she'd come.<br /><br />"On my way." Nic scooped up his scrub top and pulled it over his head as he started out the door...he was in his element here, danger or not, and as long as he could hold a scalpel here he would stay.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom:Presidio Med<br />Words: 331 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:20944 2007-07-31T03:00:54Z 2007-07-31T03:00:54Z I try not to let my temper get the best of me, I wish I could say I was always successful in it, but I'm not, and worse than that are the feelings that can from when it's out of control. When I was younger I think I was more likely to think that revenge was the way to deal with those that got on the wrong side of me. I could excuse my behavior by blaming it on my being Greek, but I can't really say that I would have been any different had I been born Italian or something else, because in all honesty I think it's just something in my personality. <br /><br />As I got older I started looking for ways to justify my behavior. I guess you could say that I hadn't really gained the maturity to fully control it yet but, I was a little more selective in what the end result of it could be. For example, when I was younger I might have actively sought out those who crossed me. As I moved to the next stage of life I started trying to look for justification for for what I would do, as if that suddenly meant that it could excuse my behavior, or more importantly make it not matter. It's amazing the excuses we can find when we want them.<br /><br />I can't really say when it finally struck me that there was really only going to be one thing that would give me the feeling that I wasn't finding in the other two. Revenge, vindication...they both amounted to the same thing, finding a way to get even with someone for something and never really letting go of whatever it was that had let me to the point that made me so angry to begin with. I didn't want and I certainly didn't need either of them anymore, I was past that, I was ready to move on, and with that came the last step, the relief of accepting that there would be times things wouldn't go my way and I'd have to deal with that and just move on.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom: Presidio Med<br />Words: 358 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:20710 2007-06-27T01:17:10Z 2007-06-27T01:21:49Z Current Topic: Curt: We set out to change the world and ending up… just changing ourselves.<br />Arthur: What's wrong with that?<br />Curt: Nothing! … If you don't look at the world.<br />(Todd Haynes, Velvet Goldmine)<br /><br />I've talked often about my work with Medecins Sans Frontieres, about the reasons for my joining, my disillusionment with where my life was at and what I thought my future held. Like most young doctors, I entered the program with intentions of changing the world and instead found myself the one who was changed and as much as I would like to tell you when that moment happened I don't even know myself.<br /><br />Every mission you go on exposes you to entirely new situations, but one thing remains constant, and that is the patients who find a way to touch your heart, no matter how often you tell yourself you're not going to allow it to happen.<br /><br />As a surgeon I rarely form any kind of attachment to my patients on a day to day basis. Often times I may not even see them before I am standing over them in the operating room, I don't have that luxury here, and maybe that's why these tours affect me the way they do. Somehow, mission by mission, year after year, as I returned seeking to heal them, they found a way inside of the surgeon's shell that served me so well in the normal everyday hospital setting. Somehow, as I sought to change things for them, they changed me.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom: Presidio Med<br />Words: 219 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:20388 2007-06-02T20:41:29Z 2009-03-01T01:40:56Z Maybe it's because of the years I've spent working with Medecins Sans Frontieres, the things I've seen men capable of doing to those unable to stop them, the suffering forced upon those who least deserve it, but when I think of a perfect day I don't wish it for myself. No, if I were to describe a perfect day it would be for those I've treated in the camps, for those whose lives are nightmares we can only dream of.<br /><br />On a perfect day, no child would go without the vaccinations that would keep them safe from illnesses that daily rob them of their lives because they are too poor to afford them. <br /><br />On a perfect day, no family would be forced to live in squalor without the basic comforts of running water, indoor plumbing, or electricity. No parent would have to choose between feeding their children or having something to eat themselves, and no one would ever go to sleep knowing the gnawing pang of hunger. <br /><br />On a perfect day medical treatment would be available to everyone and not just those who had the health-care to afford it. <br /><br />On a perfect day there would be no wars, and no one would be injured or dying due to senseless violence.<br /><br />I could go on and on, but what's the point? It's only a dream, a dream with little hope of ever becoming a reality, so it's back to my patients and the day that is actually here, the day I can have an impact on, no matter how small it may be.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom: Presidio Med/Misc. TV<br />Words: 261 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:20182 2007-04-27T23:41:26Z 2007-04-27T23:41:26Z <i>Hippocratic Oath -- Classical Version<br /><br />I swear by Apollo Physician and Asclepius and Hygieia and Panaceia and all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will fulfill according to my ability and judgment this oath and this covenant: <br />To hold him who has taught me this art as equal to my parents and to live my life in partnership with him, and if he is in need of money to give him a share of mine, and to regard his offspring as equal to my brothers in male lineage and to teach them this art - if they desire to learn it - without fee and covenant; to give a share of precepts and oral instruction and all the other learning to my sons and to the sons of him who has instructed me and to pupils who have signed the covenant and have taken an oath according to the medical law, but no one else.<br /><br />I will apply dietetic measures for the benefit of the sick according to my ability and judgment; I will keep them from harm and injustice.<br /><br />I will neither give a deadly drug to anybody who asked for it, nor will I make a suggestion to this effect. Similarly I will not give to a woman an abortive remedy. In purity and holiness I will guard my life and my art.<br /><br />I will not use the knife, not even on sufferers from stone, but will withdraw in favor of such men as are engaged in this work.<br /><br />Whatever houses I may visit, I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons, be they free or slaves.<br /><br />What I may see or hear in the course of the treatment or even outside of the treatment in regard to the life of men, which on no account one must spread abroad, I will keep to myself, holding such things shameful to be spoken about.<br /><br />If I fulfill this oath and do not violate it, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and art, being honored with fame among all men for all time to come; if I transgress it and swear falsely, may the opposite of all this be my lot.</i><br /><br />I'm a doctor, a surgeon, I've taken an oath to save lives, but but that doesn't change the fact that people have died by my hand. There are those who would say I had killed them, whether due to mistakes of my own, or circumstances beyond my control, the fact remains that I failed to do what I was supposed to do. <br /><br />I don't think any surgeon can look at a patient and say, you're the one that I can't save, we want to believe that we have within us the ability, the skill to find that miracle to save them all, but the truth is, we can't. We sit down with our patients, we explain the risks, and we assure them they have nothing to fear. It's a piece of cake, something we do everyday, until that alarm sounds and we realize there was something different about that patient, and we failed them...we killed them. Maybe it wasn't intentional, but the death came at our hand all the same.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom: Presidio Med<br />Words: 168 minus the Hippocratic Oath urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:19801 2007-04-01T23:27:20Z 2009-03-01T01:41:33Z I don't know which was the bigger of the mistakes I made with Rae, allowing myself to fall in love with someone who I didn't really know, or convincing myself that I could be in love with someone who I only spent two weeks a year with. It's easy to make excuses for the problems that existed between us, I mean, how were we supposed to cover everything there was to know when we had so little time to spend together? <br /><br />I'd be lying if I said that the first thing that drew us together wasn't a physical attraction. You put people in the close confines that we were placed in, thousands of miles from family and friends, and then force them to make life or death decisions 16 hours a day, who isn't going to look for an escape? It didn't matter to me that Rae was married, I didn't ask and she didn't tell me, she needed me as I needed her, and in those moments we were together we could forget what went on outside the tent. <br /><br />When I finally found out she was married I didn't care, I believed I loved her, and I thought it was the same for her, I was wrong. It ended up I was wrong about more then I knew, what a shame I found out after I acted on my feelings instead of before.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom: Presidio Med<br />Words: 237 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:19573 2007-02-17T19:56:01Z 2009-03-01T03:42:41Z Why is it that things that seem one way in the light of day, appear so vastly different by the darkness of night? I don't think the realization of just how much that could be true hit home until the first time I served with Medecins Sans Frontieres in a war-zone. Working within the camp with all of the sounds of life during the day it was easy to ignore the explosions and gunfire in the distance, but, the same could not be said about the nights.<br /><br />I remember the first night I spent in a war-zone, standing at my tent-flap watching the tracers as they lit the night's sky. I couldn't help but wonder how many lives would be lost once their target was found. Here I was, here we were, trying to save lives though-out the day and with the coming of night it was all undone. What was the point? I can't deny the frustration that came over me, that still comes over me when I realize that it's never going to change.<br /><br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom:Presidio Med/Misc TV<br />Words: 175 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:19393 2007-01-14T01:25:13Z 2007-01-14T01:25:13Z The morning after...there were so many, it's hard to know which one to talk about and without question they all circle back to Rae. It doesn't matter how much time passes, how much distance there is between us, the feelings remain, feelings that I know I'll never again be able to satisfy.<br /><br />I think about our first morning after...the one that started all of this, we were in Bosnia, I didn't know at the time she was married, I don't know that it would have mattered if I had. We'd ended up going to bed together, it was an escape, a release, we both thought that nothing would come of, in two weeks it would be over and we'd go back to our other lives.<br /><br />But that morning after and the ones that would follow, we weren't thinking about going back to our lives, all we were thinking about was taking advantage of the comfort we found in each other's arms. A comfort we both needed at the end of a long day.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom:Presidio Med/Misc TV<br />Words: 175 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:18950 2006-12-15T19:40:22Z 2009-03-01T03:43:54Z As a doctor how can I now speak to the necessity of medical care for all people? In my work with Medecins San Frontieres I have traveled to some of the poorest countries in the world, I have seen acts of violence no human should have to witness, and yet one constant remains no matter where we are. It doesn't matter if we are in Africa, in South America, in Afghanistan..the need remains the same. The need for medical care is not just a factor during wartime, it is something that we have an obligation to provide to all people in peacetime as well. People shouldn't have to see basic medical care as a luxury, they shouldn't have to watch their children die of illnesses that a ten day course of antibiotics could cure if only it were available. Will I see changes to this in my lifetime? I don't know, but until I do I'll continue to offer my services and I hope that others will do so as well.<br /><br />Nicolas Kokoris<br />Presidio Med/Misc TV<br />Words: 172 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:18851 2006-11-22T03:50:31Z 2006-11-22T03:50:31Z I can't remember how we had learned of the attack, only that there were more casualties that needed immediate care than could be safely transported. I suppose most people wouldn't think of it as a road trip, but when you've spent a week living in a dustbowl of canvas tents and too many people, you'll take what you can get.<br /><br />None of us were novices, we knew the risks we could face even as we looked forward to the thrill of the adventure. Landmines, snipers, the risk of kidnapping, rape, death, but there were patients who needed our help, how could we not go? We took off, packed into a landrover with as many supplies as would fit, and one doctor less than we would have liked so we could accommodate the armed escort that we were ordered to take in their place. <br /><br />You can't think about the risks to yourself when you volunteer your services to organizations like Medecines sans Frontieres, if you did you'd never be able to step off the plane. What you can do is remember why you became a doctor, and know that without you people will die.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom:Presidio Med/Misc TV<br />Words: 195 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:18473 2006-11-09T22:44:40Z 2006-11-09T22:44:40Z There was a time not that long ago when I would have said it was my relationship with Rae, or the loss of that relationship. I think I've resolved myself not to that realization that what we had was never anything more than a diversion from the grim realities of what we were experiencing on a day to day basis.<br /><br />It wasn't easy for me to accept that things were over between us. Not only had I fallen in love with her, but, I had given up everything for her, my practice, my home. I'd even left my country to be near her because of something that I had believed existed between us, only to spend countless sleepless nights wondering how I could have been so wrong when I discovered everything she'd led me to believe was a lie. <br /><br />So, what about now? I've moved beyond what I know I can never have with Rae. It's funny really, since entering into working full-time with Mediecins Sans Frontieres, my nights are spent thinking about my work more than anything, wondering how I can make conditions better in whatever place I happen to be working at any given time. If I were honest though, more often then not, I find myself too tired to lay awake, and I think that's what makes work like this worthwhile.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom:Presidio Med/Misc TV<br />Words: 223 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:18292 2006-11-09T19:29:19Z 2009-03-01T03:43:18Z There was a time when family was an important part of my life. Growing up in Greece I was surrounded by Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, extended families were a way of life. I remember spending hours at my grandmother's knee, listening to stories of the exploits of this distant relative or that, never dreaming that one day what I did might become one of those stories. <br /><br />When I started offering my services to Medecins Sans Frontieres, I did so because I saw it as a way of giving back to those who didn't have access to the medicine I had begun to take for granted. When I shared the stories of what I experienced with my mother and my grandmother I never thought that my stories would become part of our living history too.<br /><br />I know as a child I would pretend that I was part of these stories, becoming a soldier, or a fisherman, traveling to distant lands or simply fighting demons in the seas. The stories of my ancestors were what fueled my fantasies and I can't help but wonder if somewhere now, that the stories of what I do aren't doing the same for some other young boy.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom:Presidio Med/Misc TV<br />Words: 202 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:18078 2006-10-04T14:42:46Z 2006-10-04T14:42:46Z I got to thinking the other day about Rae, about why things hadn't worked out between us, and it dawned on me how much of what we had was hidden. <br /><br />It's not just the fact that our relationship was limited to the two weeks a year time-frame that we saw each other, it's that she kept it hidden from everyone in her life because of her marriage. <br /><br />I wanted to think that what we had could have been more, it's why I made the decision to leave my practice, to leave Greece, to move to San Francisco and be near her. I never thought that she felt differently, I guess that's something she kept hidden from me. <br /><br />I hated the way she pretended that what was between us was less than it was when she would talk about our past. I wanted to shout to the world the truth and instead I was forced to share in her lies and keep hidden that very thing that had brought me to her. <br /><br />I suppose I should have seen that as a sign, but I was blinded by hope that she might change, so I went along, willing to wait for the right time to come. Too bad it never did.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom:Presidio Med/Misc TV<br />Words:210 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:17797 2006-09-09T20:12:04Z 2006-09-09T21:41:25Z Finally they were caught up, no, not caught up, they were never really caught up not here. He pulled the bloody gloves from his hands and tossed them in the plastic basin that already overflowed from too many other discarded pairs. The fighting seemed endless, and no matter how many hours they worked there were always more patients waiting outside the doors for treatment.<br /><br />"I need a break...just five minutes." He waved off the protest that was on the nurse's lips before she could utter the words. "Five minutes, I just need to step out for some air, I'll be back." <br /><br />He had been at the Bon Marche Hospital in Bunia less than a week and already he had done more surgeries than he would normally have seen in 3 months were he back in Greece. But it wasn't just that he was exhausted, it was what he was seeing in those surgeries and the emotions they were stirring in him. <br /><br />Dragging a hand down over his beard Nic found himself nudging one of the other doctors as the man made his way out of the tent to catch a smoke break of his own.<br /><br />"Can I have one of those?"<br /><br />"I didn't know you smoked." The crumpled pack was passed over with the comment. <br /><br />"I don't, I just need something to clear the smell out of my head." The next several minutes were spent in shared silence, each man lost to their own thoughts as the smoke of their cigarettes first rose then curled around them.<br /><br />Standing there, Nic found it hard not to let anger eat at him. Too many of his patients were one that should never have seen the inside of an operating room, or at least not for the kinds of injuries they were suffering from. What kind of a monster takes a machete to an innocent child? How much hate does a man have to be filled with to rape a little girl? <br /><br />The questions were ones he would never have the answers to but it didn't stop him from asking them of himself, anymore then it stopped him of thinking of what he might do were he ever to confront one of those responsible.<br /><br />The truth was he could, and would do nothing because he had sworn to help them all. If one of them were brought into his operating room he would fight for their life just as hard as he would fight for that of the child they hard tried to kill, the child they had raped, and that truth disgusted him. He took a long slow pull on the cigarette, letting the smoke remain in his mouth until he could feel the burn in his throat. <br /><br />"Dr. Kokoris, we're waiting for you." The sound of the nurse's voice brought him back to the here and now and he released the smoke and with it the burden that had seemed to settle within it's mist. He was a doctor, it was his job to save lives, not to judge them. He drew a final drag off of the cigarette before flicking it off into the darkness and watching it land a short distance away, it's glowing ember a tiny flicker of light amidst the blackness. <br /><br />Maybe that was all he could hope for in this place.<br /><br />Muse: Nicolas Kokoris<br />Fandom:Presidio Med/Misc TV<br />Words: 555<br /><br />Cross Posted to Theatrical Muse urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nicolaskokoris:17555 2006-09-06T03:40:15Z 2006-09-06T03:40:15Z The Legacy Millennium is in the heart of Michigan Avenue's Cultural Mile, if you follow the links posted earlier you will find web cam views and a virtual tour of what the apartment looks like to aid your play. Wait-staff will move through the party with trays offering foods from the three restaurants and there will be two open bars set up. On both bars will be donation displays for Medecins Sans Frontieres/Doctors Without Borders with information for those who request more details, videos are also available. Music is playing throughout the apartment, a mixed tract that should offer a little something for almost every taste.<br /><br />Feel free to make your entrances at your leisure...play will be relaxed and will continue for as long as people like. (Note: Joanna's mun works at 4am CST, and I have a 6:30am CST wake-up so we may vanish by midnight.)